'On Conceptualization and Reconceptualization'
a blog by
Tara Barghamadi
First Blog Post
Welcome to my Blog :)!
I have parts of me that have wanted to create a blog for quite some time, and, I’ve had parts of me overcome with imposter syndrome who did not feel good enough to do so {parts work}. Two different parts are at play here.
As some context, I wrote my first blog in 2006 when I was quite a bit younger :). I think that part of me has been yearning to write again, now that I have a website. And an older part of me feels inspired by @Ayandastood’s message of, “when you are yearning to be creative, there are people yearning for your creativity in return.” This is the idea of a the collective consciousness. {Liberation Psychology}
I feel like there would be merit in explaining how I work with these parts as well. Here, I have a part of me that is so eager to write and be creative (I often attribute part of this to my moon being in Leo); and another part of me that feels like she is not good enough to engage creatively.
Here, I try to understand and respect both parts involved. To my part who is eager, I tell her, “I am so excited that you are excited” *somatically jumps up and down to celebrate* I spend some time affirming this part and letting her know she can write ✍️, even if we don't post it on our blog. And that she needs to wait for a bit to see if other parts would be willing to post. I let her know that I will check back in with her once I have checked in with other parts. {Somatic Psychology}
I also ask if there is anything I can do to make her feel more seen, and she tells me that she would like a couple screenshots of her original blog to be posted here if the blog does go up: {Parts Work}
(two photos of my blog circa 2006)
I agree and let her know I am going to spend some time with my other part as well. Now I go and sit with the part of me that feels apprehensive about starting a blog.
I ask her what her fear is with publicly posting a blog? She tells me that she doesn’t have a degree in English, she’s never figured out how grammar works in English, and mostly, what if she is not understood? What if, in fact, she is misunderstood? What if? {existential psychology/philosophy}
What if is a heavy feeling. It signals uncertainty. Our nervous systems do not like uncertainty. It's a deviation from the norm. Together we spend a good amount of time noticing where in the body we feel this sensation. We lean in (rather than avoid the discomfort) and and we breathe safety into our body. I notice that for this part, the memory of past times where the worst “what it” situations come up to memory. I listen to this part, and I comfort and validate this part. We talk about the feeling imposter syndrome and what it brings up, and the, we just feeeeeel a lot. {Somatic Psychology}
I let this part of me know that we can continue to spend time on this topic, and that a blogpost will not be posted unless she feels safe and ready with the idea. If she chooses, she can take the blogpost off at any point as well; or never post to begin with. Having multiple options, as well as a way out, is highly important. I also reiterate that we will not make a rushed decisions. Well thought out, and well felt out, decisions signal safety to our bodies. {Trauma-Informed Psychology}
This part tells me about her fears, and also tells me about her wishes. She wants to engage creatively, but that she wishes she could be perfect at it. We talk through perfectionism, we remember our favorite quotes about it, and some feeling in our body shifts.
Somatically, its starting to feel safer. The creativity feels like a golden a sparkler, its warm, its sparkly, bright, and its full of dynamic movement. I thank this part for letting me talk to her, and I let her know I will check in again in the future to see if she still feels okay with posting the blog.
I hope this blog will be helpful in understanding how you might start to have communication and relationship with different parts of yourself.
No person’s parts are the same, but I tend to find that if we approach parts of ourselves with openness, curiosity, compassion, confidence and clarity, we will create a warmer relationship with ourselves. {Internal Family System's Qualities of Self; Parts Work}
Until inspiration strikes again,
تارا (Tara) (Persian Spelling: ت: T /ا: A /ر: R/ا: A)
6/15/2024
9/18/2024
Blog Post 2: Sitting with the question of 'worthiness'
How might life look if you lived in the present moment?
Pour yourself some chai, coffee, milk, hot chocolate, or your beverage of choice and explore some philosophical topics with me ☕️☺️✨.
“How would you carry yourself if you knew that no more ‘big bad things’ were gonna happen?"
Would you breathe more?
Would you engage in your hobbies more? Would you let go of rumination (even a percent more)? Would you see anxiety as a protective mechanism, and an illusion of control more?
What about a different question, “What if you knew ‘big bad things’ might still happen, but your anxiety was not actually serving you? What if ruminating doesn't actually help you change the outcome? What if instead it only messes with your phyisology?
Would you still brace for impact everyday worrying? Or could you conceptualize a different approach towards life?
As humans, we tend to say, “Once X,Y,Z is done, then, I will live”.
What would life look like if you lived now? Imperfectly, and as you are?
These are challenging but thought provoking questions to sit with.
Notice how your body reacts towards these concepts and journal after.
Bonus Question:
How does your body react to the question, “how would you live, knowing that you are 100% worthy as you are now?”
Does it impact how you carry yourself in your day to day life?
Are there things you are putting off for the day where things are different? Could you incorporate them even a little bit now?
- Tara
Photo of purple sky taken by me :)
Values Based Living
existential philosophy
10/3/2024
How often do you check in on your values?
How often do you re-calibrate your values to integrate lessons you have learned from processing and sitting with grief?
In my Grief and Loss course during graduate school, a token of wisdom that really impacted me was, “Every time you go through grief, you re-evaluate everything that you know. You relearn who you are, and you see the world accordingly.”
As you delve deeper and deeper into self-understanding, and notice the themes and tendencies that you have, you can start to evaluate if the values you live by still resonate with you.
And you get to check in with yourself about whether you are integrating your values in the ways that feel resonant with you.
How often do we say we are living by our values, but then we don’t integrate our values into our day to day lives.
To live by your values looks like living each day having your values inform your choices.
Reflection is a big part of this process.
It feels similar to the idea that you rewire your nervous system by rewiring your nervous system.
This means, doing difficult things that you know are good for your nervous system, i.e., meditation, yoga/safe movement, somatic shaking, affirmations- to make changes to your mind/rewire your nervous system.
This is not to say that you need to be perfect at this. In fact, as humans, we are not even able to be perfect if we wanted to be :). Instead, it means showing up for yourself by caring enough to do things imperfectly.
If a whole meditation doesnt feel possible, does one deep breath feel possible?
If a values sort activity doesnt feel possible, does journaling about your values feel more accessible?
If journaling feels inaccessible, does calling up a friend and talking about your worldviews feel possible?
It is my passion to have philosophical conversations with people, explore their values, and to co-create plans with clients that help them actionably integrate their values into their lives.
A lot of integrating values work has looked like grief work/existential therapy in my experience.
As an example,
Two of my top values are kindness, and openness.
In reflecting, I noticed that although I carry those values, I am not integrating them in the ways that I want due to my own avoidant tendencies.
The premise in my head used to be:
“If I’m treated with kindness and openness, then I can be kind and open”
However, a more aligned premise for me is:
“If I am a kind and open person, I will be kind and open.”
When you live within your values, you are being your full authentic self.
{of course there are always caveats +disclaimers with this, don’t put yourself in unsafe situations with unsafe people + sometimes you need to advocate for yourself rather than "be kind." This post is not pertaining to those circumstances, or any circumstances of abuse}
For me notice that my avoidance has gotten in my way in this context.
I have been reconceptualizing avoidance as 'having fear around not being perfect at something, and therefore giving it up.’
So in the context of values, “I cant be perfectly kind, so maybe I should just not try.”
However, if I see it as my role to live in alignment with my values, then it becomes, “nobody is perfect, its not about being perfect, its about being you. Its about noticing what kindness looks like in your life at this moment, and integrating that.”
This form of thinking is rooted in existential therapy/philosophy and it makes it your responsibility to conquer your fears in order to live a values based life.
The way I see it is:
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Fears can be reconceptualized as something we want to avoid. Lets explore that and the barrier that are in place that keep you stuck.
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Heal some of this fear through existential therapy+parts work, and then release using somatic therapy techniques.
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Accept that it is your role to conquer this fear, and guide yourself by grounding in your values. Do a values sort activity.
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Courage + actionable change are the magic ingredients that make the biggest difference in the end. Showing up imperfectly and having the courage to do “the difficult thing” knowing you may not get it right, but knowing also that you are getting closer to the life you want.
We gain a lot from allowing ourselves to fail, and doing hard things that get us closer to our values. When we can do the steps, and then surrender to the outcome, magic happens.
- Tara 💛
Pretty photo of tree + flowers taken by yours truly :)
10/10/2024
On Fear: What Is Your Role In Your Suffering?
What is your role in your suffering? This sentence used to trigger me a lot.
It would bring up defensive parts of myself up who would point at my various past traumas and systemic oppression and use those experiences to not recognize my own role in my healing.
Don't hear what I am not saying-
I am not saying, your traumas don’t matter and there are not systemic things that are and have impacted you. Systemic oppression impacts our every atom and our every experience. Personal and collective trauma incite fear within us, damage our physiology, and wreck our nervous systems. I will write a seperate blog post about systemic oppression and its impacts.
However, what I am saying is, there is space to process the trauma and systems AND focus on how you also have a role in your suffering.
Processing how you self sabatoge allows you to be an active participant in your own life.
In order to make changes in our lives, we need to notice our own blind spots. It is just like driving, if we ignore our blindspots, they don't go away, we just will cause a lot of pain.
Existential therapy offers the following themes as important themes to understanding who we are, and how we can create lives that are meaningful:
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Meaning and Purpose: Discussing what gives life meaning and how to find personal purpose.
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Freedom and Responsibility: Examining the balance between freedom of choice and the responsibility that comes with it.
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Isolation and Connection: Exploring feelings of isolation versus the need for connection with others.
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Death and Mortality: Confronting the reality of death and how it influences life choices and priorities.
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Authenticity: Encouraging individuals to live authentically and align their actions with their true values.
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Anxiety: Understanding existential anxiety and how it can lead to personal growth or avoidance.
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Existential Crisis: Navigating periods of doubt or confusion about life's purpose or direction.
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Personal Values: Clarifying personal values and beliefs that guide life choices.
These are are deeply uncomfortable topics, and not topics you can process in one therapy session or one conversations, instead, they are topic that we will continue to reflect on throughout our lives in order to make meaning and make choices that will lead to getting out of stuckness, and getting into our lives.
When we think about times where we have made big changes, we can often notice that prior to that big change, there was likely a catalyst. A period of feeling stuck, maybe there was a traumatic incident that happened, maybe we did not know how our family would react to who we are, etc., however, something within us knew that we needed to make a change. And we mustered enough courage to listen to that voice of reason within us.
A golden token of wisdom I gained from my supervisor recently is “ One day the scales will tip and you will do something that will give you a different outcome, because the discomfort of your current life will outweigh the fear that comes with making a change.” This brings in the nuance that these things take time, but we cannot only rely on time, we also have to rely on courage and action. Action keeps us living our lives, not being resentful participants in it.
The discomfort of your current life often feels safer than the fear of change, but true growth lies in embracing the unknown.
We cannot wait for fear to “go away” to make a change. It is about learning to hold yourself through fear so that you can “do the hard thing”.
Rather than, “how do I get rid of fear so that I can do hard things”
The premise becomes, “how can I support myself when im scared, but still do the hard thing to create the life I want to live”
And then, you hold yourself through hard things by:
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listening to what parts of you need
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regulating your nervous system
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making accommodations for yourself
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exploring existential underpinnings
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practicing DBT skills (mindfulness)
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and the list goes on :)
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Book a session and we can find a tailored plan for you. A bit of shameless plug ( 🤭 its that gen-z in me)
But the idea that we need to just wait for fear to go away can keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns and feeling stuck in our lives.
What would it do for you to notice your own role in your suffering? What might you gain from not being defensive towards the topic?
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Tara تارا
Photo of beautiful aspen trees taken by me :)
10/11/2024
On Defensiveness & Its Impact on Connection
What would happen if we allowed ourselves to show up more imperfectly in relationships?
When we allow ourselves grace in relationships, in turn, we can extend that grace to our loved ones as well.
This goes for any relationship: romantic, platonic, familial, professional, etc.
If we can see ourselves as humans with fear who show up imperfectly, we can accept that others are only human too.
If we view other’s hurting us as personal attacks and expect perfection from them, we only keep ourselves stuck in resentment. This keeps our hearts closed.
We don’t get gold stars ⭐️ when we show up perfectly in relationships.
{disclaimer time: this is NOT saying “go accept bad behavior and be bad.” This is a nuanced take. It is saying, do you push people away when they don't show up perfectly for you? What is the impact of expecting perfection? What does it do for you think of the other person's background, biases, and intentions? What does it look like to see them as a human capable of making mistakes, but not necessarily trying to harm you? When we see people fully, we can notice the meanings we make rather than focusing on whether or not the other person showing up perfectly}.
If anything, in my experience I see that the person in the relationship who demands perfection becomes resentful. It shows up as “I'm showing up in XYZ way, but they aren't!” The subliminal messaging here is “I'm better than them, they are worse than me”. They are impacting me, therefore they must be trying to hurt me.
However, what would it look like to shift to, "The other person could also be getting impacted by me, because they have a different set of triggers. Maybe we are impacting each other."
This takes it from finger pointing to looking in the mirror.
When we engage in finger pointing, we get lost in processing how other person impacted us VS noticing our own role and triggers.
When we are able to notice our own triggers, regulate, and slow down, we can our own role more clearly.
This creates a pedestal that puts one person in the “I try hard in relationships” role, and puts the other person in a “doesn't try hard” role. When in reality, could it be that both people are not getting their needs met and could both do better.
And what do these roles do to our connections?
For one thing, these attitudes will dampen intimacy.
How can we have emotional intimacy if we are expected to be perfect?
It takes away from us being able to be human.
How might our relationships fare if instead, we notice that each person is indeed, a person?
A person with their own hurt, traumas, biases, and experiences. How would we approach people if we believed they were trying their best?
What do we gain from seeing ourselves as better than others? We gain a false sense of confidence that is backed in ego.
If we instead approach other people as people, and focus on our own role and how we want to show up in relationships, we will have more success.
Intimacy comes from being able to show up as your vulnerable human self. And it is not safe to show up as a vulnerable human if you are expected to show up perfectly. It can also cause a lot of avoidance, anxiety, and tension.
Do you notice any of these tendencies in yourself?
These are only two examples of roles we put ourselves can put ourselves in, what are other dynamics you notice in your relationships?
What fears or defenses come up when you think of how you show up in relationships?
With tenderness,
Tara 🧡
Photo of Sedona Cave taken by my partner :)
10/13/2024
Community & Culture Matters
Being middle eastern and south asian is to be worried about your home country at all phases in your life.
From being a child, to a teen, to an adult, there has been destruction of my homeland.
The impact of watching people who look like you be dehumanized, misunderstood, and villainized is not something you should ever have to deal with.
To watch your neighboring countries go through genocide and wondering if you are next is unfortunately a reality many of us hyphenated americans live with.
I.e Iranian-American ,
Pakestani-American
Our identity as Americans gets hyphenated. Meanwhile you dont often see
French-American,
German-American
You just see, American.
We have to process and sit with the feelings of violence of colonialism. Grief the lives we never got to have because of it. Advocate for our rights.
However, here is also where we have a choice. Do we radically accept our situation and work on supporting ourselves through this life? Or do we get stuck in the pain and not do anything to ameliorate our situation?
This is where community & culture comes into play.
Our bodies are being impacted by the violence of colonialism, and here, we have to look to our cultures to see what nourished our ancestors.
There is wisdom in understanding what sustained our ancestors. Three things that come to mind are:
- food
- dance
- community / mutual aid
Eating the same foods as our ancestors, especially the spices and the natural herbs/elixers they created, allows our bodies to be nourished with that feels familiar and helpful to them.
When we cannot geographically rely on our countries to remain ours, food can be a way that we psychologically reclaim our cultures and identities.
I came across this idea comes from Food Writer, Reem Kassis, who states, "For Palestinians, whose national identity is constantly undermined without an independent state, constructs other than geography become vital to a sense of rootedness and identity. Food for Palestinians becomes a way to reclaim our country, if not geographically, at least psychologically and emotionally..."
These spices, dishes, and hearty foods sustained our people, and is a big part of how we still exist despite out circumstances.
In Persian culture, dance, or "raghs" is a huge part of the culture.
Women dance together at gatherings, and it is a bonding part of sisterhood.
Each middle eastern & south asian culture has its own dances, and learning these movements can be intimidating, but by stepping into the discomfort of learning them, we get to relieve our bodies in the ways our ancestors did. There is something really special about that :).
There is also much research to support that dance is beneficial to our mental health, reducing out stress and allowing our bodies to somatically get out trauma.
Surrounding yourself with people from your community, your neighboring communities, and other marginalized communities allows you to hold each other and support each other.
It helps you not feel as alone in the scary conditions that we live in.
This can look as simple as shopping at ethnic grocery stores.
At every ethnic grocery store I have shopped at, I create beautiful connections with the people who work there.
I felt inspired to write this post when I went to a local Palestinian market and ordered dinner from them while I bought some groceries.
I had ordered some food, and when I went to check out, the lady told me, “I packed some extra chicken for you because I wanted you to have food. I also packed you some dessert to enjoy tonight.” 🥺.
I got emotional and felt deeply held and cared for.
Our communities sustain us.
I reflected on how many relationships I have with the ladies who work at my local Persian Markets. They check in on me, when I look tired they ask how I’m doing, and I check in on them. They give me advice as elders, and they make me feel safe.
We support each other.
Your existence is resistance, and your ancestors are proud of you 💛.
I hope reading this will inspire you to engage in your culture and communities as well 🧡. It can really look as simple as grocery shopping, moving, and eating :).
With love,
Tara 💛🌼✨
How you talk to yourself matters
I felt called to write this blog post today when I misplaced my wallet and had a whole journey around finding it, and finding and comforting my younger self ( a young part of me) through the process.
I had looked around my apartment for my wallet in all the spots I assumed it would be, and it simply was not there. I even asked my partner to help me find it, because my partner is magic at finding stuff I cannot find. When my partner also could not find it, I began to feel down on myself.
I began to hear messages from my childhood like “Tara you need to organize your room better, you are a slob. No wonder you can’t find anything. You need to be better. How are you going to make it in this life if you cant even know where your own stuff is?”
I felt my stomach drop, and tears welled up in my eyes remembering other memories where I was seen and treated as a “bad kid” when I acted in developmentally appropriate ways.
In this moment, I decided to lean into my own advice, and take this as an opportunity to learn about myself and the world.
I decided to sit with the messages that were coming up in my brain and notice what part of me is coming up. I noticed it was a young girl who had a lot of doubts around if she was going to make her way in the world. She had been sitting in shame and guilt, and I could sense this part really needed my help.
I sat down with her and I let her know,
Salam (Hi), I can sense you are feeling down because you cant find your wallet. It is really sad we cant find the wallet. its okay to feel sad, but I want you to know that you are safe, and that I don’t think you are “bad/disorganized”. My love, your are not bad, you are a human being. Let's breathe and notice where you are carrying this pain. As we sat down, she brought to my mind’s eye a bunch of memories where she did not feel good enough, and felt like ‘a bad tara.’ I let her know that what I care about is that she feels valued and worthy. A wallet will never mean more to me than her. I let her know that even if the wallet was lost, I am an adult and I will be able to retrieve it/replace what was inside. Tara with a capital T, my adult self is fully compenent to figure it out, and that it is not a burden for me to do so, it is an honor. As we did this, I noticed a shift in my body, I felt regulated again. I remembered that I am an adult who is allowed to make mistakes. That my worth does not come from being perfect, it just comes from being. That I don't get gold stars for being the most organized person, and that I value having a kind and nurturing relationship with myself more than anything else.
As this young part of me felt calmer, I asked if she would like to approach this wallet finding as a fun scavenger hunt.
This reminded me that our approach towards life is very important. A quote that came to mind is this:
“Don’t be a prisoner of your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence.”
Whilst I could have started to engage in negative self talk like “damn it you always lose stuff, get it together,” it was so fulfilling to stop that behavior and replace it with healing my younger part of me.
It is our role as adults to take action and befriend our younger selves. If we let parts take control and live in the same cycles, nothing will change in our lives. If we, however, are intentional and disrupt our own neuronal wiring, we will live lives that feel authentic to us, and feel far more fulfilling.
And in case you were curious, I found the wallet :). And what felt more special than finding the wallet was having been kind to little Tara :). Cause she deserves kindness and tenderness.
It was also very healing to my younger part that my partner came in and checked in on me and gave me hugs as I was looking for my wallet. My partner also reminded me that the wallet does not matter as much as me being kind to myself. This is a testament to how important it is that we surround ourselves with people who help us grow and help us heal. Healing does not happen alone, and that is beautiful.
What would it look like to take day to day stressors as opportunities to grow and heal?
Tara :)
10/23/2024
photo from my partner & I's elopement :)
The Journey of No Contact:
The Path Towards, and Away From No Contact
Going no contact is a heavy and loaded topic in the therapy world.
There is also not much literature on moving from no contact to re-entering contact.
In this blog, I hope to share some of my personal wisdom. Take what resonates :).
Going no contact with somebody means not interacting with them at all, in any way, for a certain amount of time in order to give yourself space to heal from their actions, and to give them time to process their actions, your communication, and to engage in behavioral change.
No contact is often put into use when you no longer feel safe being in a friendship/any type of relationship with somebody.
This can be with friends, partners, and even with family.
To go no contact with someone is painful, and brings up many feelings.
However, it is a recognition that at least in the present, it would do you more harm to engage in this relationship than to not be in it.
Going No Contact usually happens after:
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You have different expectations of what a relationship between you should look like
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You have communicated a boundary/expectation and it has been violated
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Commucation and feedback you have given has been disregarded
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There is defensiveness happening rather than listening
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You are being mistreated, abused, or threatened
We know it’s time for no contact when an individual causes us trauma, refuses to take accountability, and we recognize that we need space from them to heal. No contact is a way to give ourselves the time we need to process, heal, and reflect, while also giving the other person time to recognize where they went wrong, heal, and make changes in their behavior. Though it’s difficult, no contact is sometimes necessary for both parties to heal and for a healthier, more authentic relationship to be possible.
No contact can provide an opportunity for space and growth. The party that has been blocked can take time to take in the feedback that they got, and the party whose boundaries were violated can use this time to heal and let go of the pain and resentment.
Before going no contact, it is important to check in with yourself, engage in a little extra self care, communicate to support systems that you would appreciate their support, and make sure your basic needs are being met. The timing of this decision is personal, and it can be helpful to process it with a therapist.
The decision to go no contact is a big one. It often requires extensive self reflection, checking in with your body, and exploring your needs. It make you feel guilty and overall it is not a pleasant experience. There is often a flooding of memories regarding the person afterwards, and “what if” that require a bit of grief work and reflection.
However, just because it is difficult and guilt inducing, does not mean it is an incorrect decision.
In the early stages of no contact, memories from the relationship can flood in—both the good and the bad times. It’s important to know that this is normal and part of the healing process. During this time, we may also reflect on our own actions and where we could have communicated better or taken responsibility for our part in the relationship. We can also recognize where we were hurt and where we felt unsupported.
The amount of time needed for healing and no contact is unique to each relationship. Some relationships may not feel important enough to revisit, while in others—especially with family—it might be healing to reestablish contact.
A token of wisdom from my personal therapist was that, especially in cases in a family, no contact should be like closing a door, however, keeping the door cracked open.
If and when we do reconnect, it’s crucial to do so without expectations of how the relationship might turn out, but with a clear understanding of our boundaries and what we are and aren’t willing to tolerate. We should approach this with an open mind.
Sometimes, years can go by before no contact is respected and boundaries are honored, but if behavioral changes are made and the resentment between both parties is processed, reconnecting can be incredibly healing.
In my own personal experience, I had set some boundaries/went no contact with some key people in my life years ago when I first started therapy, and it was devastating to do so at the time. I held guilt, especially being an immigrant child in an eldest daughter role. There were many sleepless nights, tears, and wondering if I was doing the right thing.
However, I recently decided to go through the process of checking in with myself to see if I had openness towards reconnecting with these people, because I knew that they meant a lot to me, and I had healed my own resentment towards them.
Its important to remember, if unsafety happens again, we always have the option to go back to no contact as well.
I went in with no expectations- none. I decided that if my value is openness and kindness, I can go in with the intention to be open to the person I was meeting, and meet them where they were at. From there, I told myself I could guage it and I knew I could trust myself to make a good decision. To respond rather that react. To be open rather than be defensive. And that I had let go of my resentments, and that I no longer blamed others for how my life was going, but instead took my life into my own hands.
This is a powerful place to be.
This is after years of therapy, somatic experiencing/parts work/IFS/yoga/breathwork, and most of all, building up courage. :)
In reconnecting, the healing I experienced exceeded anything I could have imagined.
The young part of me that missed these people got to see that they cared enough to make changes in their behavior, and now, for the rest of my life, I will have a new, more authentic relationship with them. That is something truly special.
I hope this can serve as a guideline for when the time to let go, and when it is right to reconnect.
When we can humanize others, and allow ourselves to show up with an open heart, curiosity, and love, beautiful things can happen.
Humans are built for connection, and sometimes no contact is exactly what we need for relationships to become safe again.
Although it takes courage to try again, especially when things might not go well, if you feel ready, have processed your emotions, and are open-minded toward the other person, it can be a very healing and beautiful experience.
11/14/2024